Lunchroom Larfs- October 31, 2014

Who I feel for most in this situation is the barber. He obviously had to keep the shop open late that night as this customer came in at closing, and had to stay yet another hour later, just to sweep up all the hair on the floor.  Also the werewolf didn't have any money, so the poor schlub lost money that night.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 29, 2014

Once being content to taunting old ladies and men who were unable to conceive their own children, the Gingerbread Man felt he could do more with his life. He started slowly with local charity races, but quickly moved up to half marathons and finally the pinnacle of all marathons, the Boston Marathon. He finished an impressive second place. As he was celebrating at the finish line, the third place winner who had eaten too much at breakfast and was about to throw up gobbled him up knowing ginger is a natural remedy for nausea. The story ends happily, the third place winner 9now second place winner) did not toss his cookies.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 28, 2014

Superman flew backwards reversing time to a point where Plastic Man was stuck in the Cretaceous period. Though dinosaurs were unable to digest gum, as their bodies were not adapted to handle it, each dinosaur tried to eat Plastic Man. And thus their extinction was brought about. IT'S SCIENCE, PEOPLE!

Lunchroom Larfs- October 27, 2014

Like any of us the birthday mummy would enjoy the streamers until it was time to remove them. Tape would peel off parts of his legs and his hands would be stained with the cheap ink used to colour the damned things. Plus his mummified cat would be throwing up neon hairballs for weeks afterwards. 

Lunchroom Larfs- October 24, 2014

Any humanoid onlooker of "Cakeland" would be thrown into hysterics, weeping uncontrollably while their bowels released simultaneously,  as the sexy cake burst out of the person 30 seconds from now.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 23, 2014

What really pissed off the Frankenstein monster is that the girl insisted on watching "The Munsters" and "The Hilarious House of Frightenstein" which quite frankly (no pun intended) were horribly demeaning depiction of reanimated flesh. Though he had to admit the parts with Vincent Price were pretty good.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 22, 2014

Johnny was just relieved his friend only needed to do a "number one". Have you ever seen a werewolf poop? You need a Glad Hefty Bag for that stuff.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 21, 2014

Don't feel so badly for the little girl. She was a racist.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 20, 2014

And little Susy was the only one that survived the zombie apocalypse. See that's the problem with society today! Has anyone ever stopped to just ask a zombie what he wants? Nooo! Next time just hug a zombie.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 17, 2014

From that point on the Paramecium always wore shorts while he showered, thus insuring his junk stunk.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 16, 2014

After retrieving his humerus bone, the skeleton never did find radius or ulna bones, though he got pretty excited one day while reading an IKEA catalog. The ulna there turned out to be a love seat.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 15, 2014

It was bad enough that the young hip vampires of the Twilight series, True Blood and Vampire Diaries laughed at his old ways, but this last mishap firmly put him in the same grouping of vampires as Count Chocula and Count von Count from Seasame Street.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 9, 2014

It took seventeen hours and the jaws of life to separate the two cephalopods. On the bright side the  offspring of this accidental tryst became famous as the lead in the Syfy original television movie, "Octoquid".

Lunchroom Larfs- October 8, 2014

The worst part of this tragedy was that Stan was a strict Jew and as such his body should never have been preserved.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 7, 2014

 

At 200psi every bone in the redheaded kid's body as well as every internal organ was completely destroyed. The firefighter was put in paid suspension for a month, which got him caught up on "Walking Dead".

Lunchroom Larfs- October 6, 2014

Even though the eventually scoliosis would take it's toll on the Toothfairy, she nevertheless thought it was a good deal, as coins were yet to be invented.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 3, 2014

The ghost fell head over heels in love with the towel, until one day he found out that she not only had a matching partner, but a number of face cloths and hand towels with that partner. Feeling betrayed the ghost attempted suicide, but to no avail. After all he had committed suicide 20 years earlier and that's what got him in this damned mess in the first place.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 2, 2014

The mother kangaroo felt trapped by her offspring. Sure they were good kids, but even with that many good kids a mother will burn out. Every day it was a teeth gritting countdown to 6:00 when the father kangaroo would get home. Although he was old school and would sit in his chair reading the evening paper and drinking a gin and tonic, at least she knew that for a precious 14 hours she wouldn't be the only adult in the house.

Lunchroom Larfs- October 1, 2014

Proving that it is a real pea, the vegetable had a terrible nights sleep with that Princess under the pile of mattresses. That is, until she eventually suffocated and stopped all that squirming.