Lunchroom Larfs- February 12, 2014

To the casual viewer this scene may seem like the certain death of these vegetables. Not so, this is a broth being made, and thus they will only be boiled alive until scarred beyond recognition by forth degree burns.

Lunchroom Larfs- February 11, 2014

It took hours of deliberation by the judges to decide if the penguins should share a gold medal or one receive a gold and the other a silver. In the end they shared the gold, which was good news for the team from Monaco who would then receive the silver. That was until it was discovered that the spikes on their shoes were 1.7 mm in diameter when the International Bobsleigh and Skeleton Federation clearly state the maximum diameter of the spikes may not be greater than 1.5 mm. The team went home humiliated and were ostracized in their home country. 

Lunchroom Larfs- February 10, 2014

Yes, both the squid and the octopus had lied about their ability to skate before commencing their first date. They both found it charming that they had tried so hard to impress the other. Years later at their 50th anniversary they would laugh at the memory. Then a sperm whale ate them and their whole family that had gathered to celebrate.

Lunchroom Larfs- February 7, 2014

Everyone thought Amanda was off to a magical wonderland after the rainbow boat took her away. In reality she was smothered under the sweaty pillow of a six-year-old. Her lifeless body was thrown into the trash later that night, only to be replaced by a quarter.

Lunchroom Larfs- February 6, 2014

Oddly, volcanoes and meteorites didn't kill off the dinosaurs. A lack of safety helmets while at play did them in.

Lunchroom Larfs- February 5, 2014

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. He didn't, because of paralysis, then falling into a coma followed by respiratory and renal failure.

Lunchroom Larfs- February 4, 2014

After a hard day of work clear cutting the forest, Biff ate his equipment and took the next day off.