Lunchroom Larfs- May 28, 2015

Since the death of printed media Superman had been struggling. His alter ego Clark Kent couldn't get a job to save his life. Not like that little bastard Spiderman who was a "photojournalist" and would always be in demand as a result of how quickly the public ate up online photo heavy media.

Superman needed a paycheck, after all the Fortress of Solitude wasn't going to pay it's own electricity bill. Thus, Superman resorted to babysitting gigs, but often didn't get repeat work as a result of situations like this one.

Lunchroom Larfs- May 27, 2015

Most of the fruits and vegetables agreed that if they were going to go to the big Bodega in the sky this was the way to go. Except the corn on the cob, who lodged himself sideways halfway down choking the giraffe. He was a spiteful and hateful little cob.

Lunchroom Larfs- May 26, 2015

It was horrifying at first for the potted flowers, but the worst came when the shriveled up dead flowers were eaten by the cat and then vomited back up in front of them. It was so disgusting, the two live flowers threw up pollen everywhere.

Lunchroom Larfs- May 25, 2015

Having not learned his lesson about the mysterious magical library where books come to life and mimic their subject matter, Billy takes out a number of books about velociraptors. Soon the small town of Merrickville must defend itself from rampaging books out for blood. Coming this summer from the producers of Night at The Museum!

Lunchroom Larfs- May 22, 2015

It was at that point that Robert Pickton decided that pigs were the way to go, rather than dogs.

Lunchroom Larfs- May 21, 2015

Thinking he successfully scared off the only mouse, Francis later enjoyed his cheese in peace. During this snack he ingested quite a bit of mouse urine and feces, and developed Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome. His lungs filled with fluid and he essentially drowned. But man, that was was some good Emmenta cheese and well worth the cost.

Lunchroom Larfs- May 20, 2015

This would have been a just a ridiculous mistake that the painter would laugh about years later, except it was a lead based paint that decreased his sperm count to such a degree that he could never impregnate a woman himself. He was a newlywed and his bride was excited to start a family. She eventually left him for a Nigerian man, who are known to be the most fertile men in the world. She ended up with seven children, while the painter only gave birth to a dependency on whiskey and poppers.