Lunchroom Larfs- November 29, 2013

This is the moment where the young boy still has an interest in nature and science. Seconds from now he will realize those suckers will pop if you catch the sun just right through the magnifying glass. He then winds down a long path to being bludgeoned to death in the jail washroom as the infamous Jefferey Dahmer.

I asked my daughter what this one was about. She said the boy was looking for those responsible for stealing his toys. The ants are running because they are guilty.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 28, 2013

My wife asked why I drew Spock eating a sandwich. Obviously we can all agree that it's Howard Cosell depicted here.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 27, 2013

Unfortunately for the monkey, that was not his tail.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 26, 2013

The snowman thinks he is safe. The woman however runs to the cutlery drawer and pulls out an icepick. She later enjoys a watermelon daiquiri under the then satisfied and smug sun.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 25, 2013

My daughter says the unicorn is rolling her eyes and thinking, "Why aren't these shoes on my feet?"

Seconds later the unicorn gores the gnome and trots him through Gnome Town as a warning to all the others not to fuck with a unicorn.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 22, 2013

This one's a bit sad. My daughter tells me that the starfish is sad because he wants to have friends. Originally I thought he wanted to be a star in the sky but I think she is right. His only friend is the clam who is dreadfully tedious, "I'll show my parents, they didn't believe in me. I'll show them. I can too produce a pearl!" He never does though. After his rant he just gets drunk and watches old episodes of Family Guy on Netflix. The starfish then thinks about joining Lavalife. 

Lunchroom Larfs- November 21, 2013

This is the fruit version of "The Lottery". You can see some grapes are relieved that they were not picked, while others are angry or saddened by the lose of a comrade. A few will live to be wrinkled old raisins, while others will be lost under the couch.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 20, 2013

Originally I had planned to have the city in the background engulfed in flames, but that seemed a little too much for a group of grade one students. What you can't see is that behind the hamster is the squashed corpse of a man, that will forever be run over again and again until hardly recognizable as human.

Also, if you look closely in the pet shop window a cat and normal sized hamster are pumping their fist in victory. All domesticated pets want us dead.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 19, 2013

The worst part? Three of this goose's cousins got caught in the propeller just after this scene. There were no survivors. Somewhere Sully Sullenberger did a jig of joy when he got the news. It turns out Sully has always hated geese and had purposely aimed flight 1549 on January 15, 2009 at the flock of geese before landing in the Hudson, presumably to ensure the geese died by downing them. Now where is your hero?

Lunchroom Larfs- November 18, 2013

My daughter explained that the giant accidentally put his feet through the trains and ended up skating. The people on the train were thrilled.

Note to VIA Rail: I can't afford to take the train anymore, I assume due to the price of gas. Smarten up and become giant powered already. Just be wary of those with athlete's foot. They should be cheaper trains.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 14, 2013

Everyday I ask my daughter what she thought the day's note in her lunch means. This one she explained was that the caterpillar didn't couldn't eat the sweater (perhaps an allergy to acrylic yarns, or more likely just the caterpillar is a pretentious dick). So instead it just drank wine all night. Doesn't help that he's an angry drunk. If you cross him that larva will fuck you up after a Bordeaux bender.  

Lunchroom Larfs- November 13, 2013

You should see the turtle that moved to a condo.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 12, 2013

The tuba couldn't be the trumpets mother. Everyone knows brass instruments only give blow jobs. Rim shot please!

Lunchroom Larfs- November 11, 2013

This picture is proof that the moon landing was faked. Of sure Apollo 11 attempted to get there, but was swatted out of the sky.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 1, 2013

Solve for x: If car is to man's penis size, then cat is to witches x.

The answer is wand size.