Lunchroom Larfs- November 19, 2013

The worst part? Three of this goose's cousins got caught in the propeller just after this scene. There were no survivors. Somewhere Sully Sullenberger did a jig of joy when he got the news. It turns out Sully has always hated geese and had purposely aimed flight 1549 on January 15, 2009 at the flock of geese before landing in the Hudson, presumably to ensure the geese died by downing them. Now where is your hero?

Lunchroom Larfs- November 18, 2013

My daughter explained that the giant accidentally put his feet through the trains and ended up skating. The people on the train were thrilled.

Note to VIA Rail: I can't afford to take the train anymore, I assume due to the price of gas. Smarten up and become giant powered already. Just be wary of those with athlete's foot. They should be cheaper trains.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 14, 2013

Everyday I ask my daughter what she thought the day's note in her lunch means. This one she explained was that the caterpillar didn't couldn't eat the sweater (perhaps an allergy to acrylic yarns, or more likely just the caterpillar is a pretentious dick). So instead it just drank wine all night. Doesn't help that he's an angry drunk. If you cross him that larva will fuck you up after a Bordeaux bender.  

Lunchroom Larfs- November 13, 2013

You should see the turtle that moved to a condo.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 12, 2013

The tuba couldn't be the trumpets mother. Everyone knows brass instruments only give blow jobs. Rim shot please!

Lunchroom Larfs- November 11, 2013

This picture is proof that the moon landing was faked. Of sure Apollo 11 attempted to get there, but was swatted out of the sky.

Lunchroom Larfs- November 1, 2013

Solve for x: If car is to man's penis size, then cat is to witches x.

The answer is wand size.