Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Today's Larf was commissioned by my eldest daughter's teacher. They started working on fractions and she asked for a note that was related to the subject. It was either this or a cartoon about the Indonesian culinary dish of monkey brains.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Day after day and week after week the two giraffes chatted in the elevator. In those brief daily encounters between the first and fifth floors they shared good days and bad, triumphs and heartbreak. Though it snuck up on them, they found they had fallen head over heels for each other. It wasn't long before they couldn't tell whose back legs were whose in the elevator, and even more importantly, they didn't care.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Being the biggest thing on earth didn't lend itself to making a lot of friends in the ocean. Those aquatic animals that braved meeting the Blue Whale were met with the most generous and charming fellow the sea could offer. It was these few friends that helped the big guy from beaching himself year after year.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
The Easter chick was of course rejected straight away by the mama bird and kicked out of the nest. The chick was almost immediately eaten by a fox. The story has a happy ending though, the chick got caught in the fox's throat and the fox died choking on it's own vomit, and a little of the chick's vomit too.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
All the Hector the Ghost wanted was take a day off and stay home in bed to get over his terrible cold. However, he had maxed out his sick days and couldn't find anyone to cover for him. Honestly it was his own fault, most of the sick days he had taken were to play Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon. He had bought it thinking it was about his demographic, but even though it wasn't about specters found the game play memorable and a thoroughly entertaining experience.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
The shoe salesman wasn't particularly afraid of spiders, even a giant tarantula such as his patron. He was more concerned as his ex wife recently threatened legal action if his alimony cheques weren't received by month's end and his rent was now two months overdue and the landlord threatening to seek eviction. If he could just talk this customer into buying four pairs of Christian Louboutin shoes, the commission alone would put him back ahead of the game. He must not fuck this sale up. Little did he know the tarantula had no intention of buying any shoes and was just bored waiting for her friend at the DMV. Hell, she hadn't even brought her purse.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
The frog survived the harrowing experience only after the fly dropped him off at an intercity playground, where firecrackers were shoved down his throat and set off. The fly had been planning just this revenge after this very frog had eaten his fiance 12 hours previously. Of course with a lifespan of only 36 hours, this had provided ample time for the fly to plan out and execute his devious scheme.
Monday, April 14, 2014
To most Slinkys this would be a simple run of the mill fall down the stairs, but not for accident prone Darren. At the bottom of the stairs Darren found one of his loops had been turned inside out. He would never again walk down stairs, alone or in pairs or make a slinkity sound. Instead he was thrown into the toy box and squashed flat by a half empty can of Tinker Toys.
Friday, April 11, 2014
Thursday, April 10, 2014
The mermaid was so friendly and oblivious to the cries for help, that eventually the woman forgot about being partially devoured by a shark. The shark had long died from choking before she fessed up that she was in fact not a real mermaid. The mermaid finally understood why her new friend was always "too busy" to visit her underwater kingdom. The two remained friends until the woman died of blood loss two days later.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
The Balloon family loved when their old friends the Scissors visited. Even if every visit ended in tears over a dead child and heartfelt teary apologies from them. But hell, they always brought a nice bottle of wine and cleaned up after themselves.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
It really wasn't Henry's fault. After all, the hosts had been serving their God awful deviled eggs, that he suspected sat in the windowsill for several hours before being served. Besides, it's not like the rest of them smelt like roses or anything themselves!
Monday, April 7, 2014
Friday, April 4, 2014
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Though he was given the finest of care, there was little the physicians could do to help the melted snowman. In the end all they could do was freeze him. Though saving his life he was incapacitated as an unmoving ice man for the rest of his life. If only he had a "do not resuscitate" order, he would have avoided this "life", that in his opinion was in word only.