Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 30, 2014

The reason Granny Francis only baked one gingerbread man was that when she made a dozen, they rose up to fight her. One, she figured she could take.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Friday, September 26, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 26, 2014

The two-headed turtle talked the frog and the other turtle into a ménage à trois, though it was awkward because no one could find the double headed turtle's sex organs.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 25, 2014

The baker gave the witch an estimate that the work on her roof would take only three days. However with a shortage of fondant in Germany and some additional work required on the hard candy floor due to water damage, the witch was staying in a Motel 6 for a good three weeks. Because she could only afford the cheap motel she brought home bedbugs which cost her even more to get rid rid of.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 24, 2014

Please don't fear the mosquito vampire. After all he can only get caught under your lose t-shirt if invited.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 23, 2014

The two mountains tried hard to separate themselves from their tantrum spewing friend. After all who gets so upset over a few dead climbers in their eyes?

Monday, September 22, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 22, 2014

The feud between the snake charmer and the magician reaches it's pinnacle that night at the Magic Castle. The magician retaliates by making the snake charmer's teenage daughter's virginity disappear. "Taa-Daa!" he shouts as he climaxes.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 19, 2014

This simple game from the frog set up an apocalyptic domino effect. Within a year the temperature of the earth's surface dropped to -100° freezing the surface of the oceans, but insulating the deep oceans. Once a new star appeared to warm our planet back up, squids become be the dominant life form. The sweater industry flourishes with all the additional arms that require manufacturing. Our economy becomes solely a wool based one. The appearance of moths dictate rise and crash of the stock markets. Wars are waged with mothballs and cedar planks. Basically little would change in the end other than wool replaces oil, moths replace terrorists and lavender replaces RPGs.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 18, 2014

This was a botched robbery, the lollipop was actually looking to hold up the tooth's sister who was gold plated. All he got for his troubles was plaque. This he hung on his living room wall with a plate reading, "World's Best Robber." This was later used as evidence to put him in jail for 20 years, the idiot.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 16, 2014

After learning that the spokesman for the "Slap Chop", Vince Offer, beat up a prostitute Pilot Hefferman found another way to make a mean salad. It wasn't cost effective, but it felt way more ethical.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 15, 2014

It was the horse in the background that tipped of Farmer Adams off to the cannibalistic diner next to the farm. Honestly though the horse was just mad that North America considered it too taboo to eat horsemeat, as he assumed he would be delicious. He cursed Pope Gregory III for banning the consumption of horse and renounced Catholicism, which really only resulted in being cast to the fiery pits of hell when he died anyway. 

Side Note: I drew this one on a plane and had no coloured pencils. The plane offered free drinks which made it impossible for me to colour this when I got home. You know, because of the jet lag from a place with a one hour time difference.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 12, 2014

The sun saw ice cream as an abomination of the natural order and did everything it could to destroy him.  Eventualy the sun enlisted a three-year-old to drop the ice cream on the ground, thus finishing him off.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 11, 2014

Of course this was a sexual fantasy for both the broom and the cat. The best the broom could hope for in reality was a shitty hand job from the owner of the house, like he was getting now. The cat on the other hand was only ever shoved off the bed at night, and left to pleasuring itself with it's own sand-papery tongue.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 10, 2014

Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep,
And can't tell where to find them;
With nitro rockets and helium balloon
She waited until well into the afternoon
Eventually they got altitude sickness
and vomited a liquid with a horrible thickness.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 9, 2014

The pictures were posted on Instagram until Instagram deleted the pictures citing them as indecent since the monster is naked.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 8, 2014

After successfully catching and eating the fisherman who was attracted to the fast food, the sharks cholesterol levels exploded, causing him to have a stroke. One result of that stroke was an inability to hum the Jaws theme when approaching a beach, which frustrated the shark greatly. Honestly, that's the only thing sharks find funny, and it NEVER get's old.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 5, 2014

The lazy duck enjoyed his sweet ride until his roommate Carlton used it as an adult toy. Carlton's corkscrew duck penis utterly destroyed the inflatable toy. Carlton was quickly asked to find another apartment as this was not his first offense.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 4, 2014

The little aliens felt a sadness and anger that they had never felt before. They took revenge on that stove, and after breaching what they thought was a "death star" of sorts, were baked at 400°. They made a delicious souffle, which was not eaten as the cook's dinner guests cancelled last minute. The little aliens lifeless bodies were unceremoniously thrown into the compost bin. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 3, 2014

The frog honestly though he and the kangaroo were playing a game. For weeks after this the embarrassed frog would duck down an aisle when he spotted his friend at the grocery store. The kangaroo wondered why the frog was avoiding him, as he did consider the frog his best friend. Months later they saw each other at the arcade, both were in line waiting to play Double Bubble. The frog was over the incident, but it was too late. The kangaroo, feeling slighted by the frog, had new friends including a grasshopper named Carl who got the kangaroo deeply into mahjong culture. He was no longer into the childish games that he and the frog used to play.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- September 2, 2014

John's existential crisis turned out to be artificial grape flavored and only lasted a few minutes until he was stuck in the hair of a six-year-old God. And that my friends is the meaning of life.