Thursday, October 31, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 31, 2013

I was concerned that this one was a little too dark for the kids. When I asked my daughter what it was about, she said the two pumpkins were scared because the whipped cream was squirting out all by itself. So instead of homicide the kids saw poltergeists.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 30, 2013

This one is a bit of an illusion. If you turn the picture upside down it's the same either way. Go ahead and try it... Okay, so now you've either driven yourself crazy trying to turn it upside down on your phone only to have it right itself again or you've broken your desktop or laptop. Now go pay attention to something other than a screen for a minute.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 29, 2013

The teeth are giggling so much because they aren't used to the sensation on being brushed. Shortly after this flossing happens and they start screaming as blood flows around them from the gums. It's like "The Shining" for molars.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 28, 2013

It was my daughter's birthday weekend, so this is another birthday themed cartoon. As you can see most of the blowfish have strong opinions of their servitude to the octopus, but only the one who seems apathetic about the whole thing (far right) appears to be making a move to escape. He will succeed, the others will be tied to a chair until they slowly deflate leaving rubbery casings on the floor that the dog will choke on. I know right? An octopus with a pet dog? But that my friends is another story for another night.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 25, 2013

Today was my daughter's birthday. The tired but happy baking monkey mirrors how I felt by the end of the day.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Lunchroon Larfs- October 24, 2013

Rudolf was not only the most famous reindeer of all, but he was also the perfect height to dry clothes on. He has a classic Flintstones "It's a living face" on.

Don't feel badly for him though, he gets his revenge on the next foggy Christmas Eve he steers Santa and the rest of the team into a transformer which results in cooked venison raining down in the neighborhood of Cherry Hill in Baltimore. The good news: Christmas dinner is saved for many families in that depressed area.  

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 22, 2013

The kids and my wife didn't get this one. Obviously, the vampire is hungry because it is winter and everyone is wearing turtlenecks and scarves. I mean really, when in any movie have you seen a vampire bite through clothing? Never. Sure their teeth can pierce through skin to get to a vein, but not through such as the impenetrable Patons Classic Merino used on the bespectacled man's sweater.

The kids at school though the vampire had missed lunch and was too shy to ask if there was anything left over for him to eat. Always over polite that Nosferatu.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 21, 2013

Although this seems like an accident, Peter had very carefully studied his roommate's schedule and determined when it would be most likely that Bernadette would be getting dressed in the morning. They would laugh over this at their 40th anniversary together over a bottle of Dom Perignon champagne.

Side Note: My wife was worried that this one was a little too risque for my daughter and her friends. I pointed out that the banana walking through the door did not have a boner, nor did the lady banana have a vibrator, so it would be fine.

For The Record: The kids thought the lady banana was shivering because she was cold and didn't read anything into the other banana walking through the door.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 18, 2013

Okay, no excuses. I got drunk last night with my wife and forgot until midnight to do a cartoon for my daughter's lunch. That also explains why I forgot to turn the flash on the camera and you can see the shadow of my hand.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 17, 2013

The dentist isn't nervous about working on a shark. He is dreading telling the shark the new caps he just had put in are not covered by his insurance. The shark will insist on paying in installments, which will not, as the dentist tells his receptionist, "get my son's law school tuition in on time".

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 16, 2013

Later in the day the giraffe will look in the mirror and try to reassure himself that the haircut was, "pretty good for six dollars".

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 15, 2013

It is the middle of October, which means that knitters everywhere are freaking out about what they will knit for relatives and whether they will have time to complete the projects by Christmas.

This octopus has stayed up all night to complete a sweater for her sister-in-law. The truth is the sister-in-law really only wanted the new Stephen King book, and will fain excitement when she opens her gift. The sweater will be put on when opened and worn for the day until it is taken off and thrown in the back of a closet. Years later she will bring a bag of clothes to her sister-in-law being that she is quite well off as her husband is a successful architect, and had no need for many of her old clothes. She will pull it out of the bag and say, "Oh dear, I didn't realize this dreadful thing was in there. I'll just go ahead and throw it out." The knitting octopus will remember how hard she worked on this sweater but will say nothing. She will also never hand make a gift again. Instead opting for gift certificates to Home Sense. Many of her other relatives who loved and felt special receiving handmade gifts will be disappointed and wonder what they did to upset the knitting octopus. Family reunions will forever be awkward because of one stuck up octopus, who ended up leaving the architect for a squid in advertising anyway. 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 14, 2013

I wonder if on some days Jim Henson felt like this? I mean the Children's Television Workshop was probably a fine place to work, but I'm sure there were bad days when executives tried to make him do certain things for ratings like having Zero Mostel host.

The kids didn't really "get" this one. I think it's obvious, only those sock puppets who have completed their apprenticeship are given arms and then get to stick their new hands up the arse of another sock puppet to make him do their bidding. 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 8, 2013

The sheep on the right suffers from Alopecia universalis, and will soon suffer from fratricide. The mother sheep will suffer from a lack of Mother's Day cards.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 7, 2013

It's like "Lady and the Tramp" except the spaghetti is horrified.

If you look close, the worm in the middle of the plate has a serene look on his face. He understands that his time had come. He has lead a good life, been a good father, husband and soil aerator. The other worms are cowards and are afraid to meet whatever comes in the afterlife and perhaps have to answer and justify their wasted lives. Forever they will be stuck in invertebrate purgatory. 

Friday, October 4, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 4, 2013

All this cartoon did was remind my daughter that she isn't allowed to have peanut butter sandwiches at school because some kid that should have been taken out due to selection made it this far.

She also said the jellyfish in the sandwich was a friend of the horrified jellyfish and not a family member.

Notice, how I tried to make the sea turtle look realistic, then just said fuck it over the jellyfish.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 3, 2013

My wife always thought narwhals were fictional creatures until I showed her some pictures. It's understandable as they are super weird creatures, what with their love of roasted marshmallows and all.

The little penguin reminds me of when I was a kid watching my next door neighbors swim in their pool. I would stand on the other side of the fence pretending like I had something important to do there hoping, just hoping they would invite me over for a swim. Come one, just give the little guy a marshmallow, even if it's burnt, he doesn't care! He just wants to be loved!

Note: I was going to use unicorns instead of narwhals, but then I realized with their short horns they would surely melt their faces off trying for a tasty smoky treat. I suspect that's why there are no more unicorns today. Their love of corn syrup and gelatin.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 2, 2013

Somehow the snail has overtaken the snail, planted his country's flag upon it's back and made the turtle a slave. Hence why the turtle looks so worried and upset.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Lunchroom Larfs- October 1, 2013

Another cartoon my daughter and her classmates didn't get. I think she is tired of trying to explain what my idea of the joke is and asked me to write on it, "Two dogs got tangled up and are barking at each other."

She also commented that the cat was out for a walk and went to a place that is supposed to be a dog free zone only to find this. I assume this would be a cat's worst nightmare, a two headed angry dog that looks like yarn. "Do I bat it around or run away?"