Lunchroom Larfs- March 10, 2015

Sure the lion felt great right after leaving the salon, but in the morning she woke up with the same mangy mane she always had. She greatly regretted not hitting the clubs the night before when she was looking her best, to pick up some young alpha male. But then again, no amount of hairstyling would make up for the fact she was a terrible racist, and thus undateable.

Lunchroom Larfs- March 9, 2015

It was sort of an interesting art piece until a clumsy 7 year old ran into one of the frozen swimmers and it shattered. Then when the ice started the melt it was a horrifying mess.

Lunchroom Larfs- March 6, 2015

What the bear didn't realize was these bees produced their honey from rhododendrons, which resulted in Grayanotoxin giving the bear "honey intoxication". The bear subsequently suffered low blood pressure, shock, heart rhythm irregularities, and convulsions which resulted in his death. The bear died at the age of 27, which of course entered him in the 27 Club alongside Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain. The bear entered legendary status and his song "Honey, honey I will fuck you up for some bitchin' honey" became a defining anthem for a generation of young musician bears. 

Lunchroom Larfs- March 5, 2015

The fisherman should consider himself lucky as the fish he caught was riddled with mercury. That mercury infected fish was later caught by a commercial fishing boat and sold to a fine restaurant. There, a new mother ate it, and then passed the mercury on to her breastfeeding newborn girl, who grew up and passed it to her daughter through breast milk. The cycle continued from there. And that folks, is how the fish carefully sacrificed 10% of their population in order to extinguish the human race and create a true Water World albeit sans Kevin Costner.

Lunchroom Larfs- March 4, 2015

It took the mother giraffe seven skeins of wool and three months to make the scarf for her son, who on the first day he had it left it on the bus. On the bright side a monkey who was also on that bus now has a full body wrap.

Lunchroom Larfs- March 3, 2015

One day, the carrots tired of being skinned and scalped, joined together to fight back. One brave carrot volunteered for the mission that would mean his certain death. He turned the peeler on himself and sharpened his end into a stake. In the middle of the night he snuck into the man's room and drove himself through the chef's heart. He perished soon afterwards, as he was a perishable (!). But to this day from crispers all over this great land you can still hear the haunting refrain of 'The Ballad of Francis Carrot, The Bravest Carrot Of The All." Every baby carrot is taught the song in Kindergarten.

Side Note: My eldest was thinking about this cartoon as she fell asleep and said, "Why didn't the human wonder why those carrots are standing up?" Touche!

Lunchroom Larfs- March 2, 2015

Yes, this is indeed how chocolate chips are made. The sad part is those little chips never never who their father was. Without a proper role model most of them because petty criminals or heroin addicts.  Ever see a chocolate chip with track marks? It's not pretty.