I̶'̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶r̶e̶c̶e̶n̶t̶ I was a stay-at-home dad. Sarcasm is my crutch and cynicism my wheelchair. Lunchroom Larfs are cute/silly notes I put in my daughter's lunch everyday. Each night I write a disturbing caption to make them palatable to cynical adults such as myself.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Lunchroom Larfs- September 27, 2013
I've always found the red eyes of white rabbits creepy. It gives this rabbit a walking dead feel. I picture he then unemotionally crumples the tiny magician in a ball and tosses the broken man over his fuzzy shoulder before exiting the stage.
Note how the rabbit's legs are not seen under the table. That isn't an error in my drawing, that's another magic trick of the rabbit. Levitation!
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Lunchroom Larfs- September 26, 2013
Here is another one that the kids in my daughter's class didn't get. No one knew why a dog in a museum salivating over the dinosaur bones was funny...
... wait a minute my daughter goes to a school for the blind and they all have seeing eye dogs that would totally be allowed in the museum... Now I get why they didn't find this funny! But wait... how did they see this cartoon?
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Lunchroom Larfs- September 25, 2013
It took me a while to figure out which appliance should be getting married to the robot. I started with the toaster, but quickly realized putting a veil or a dress on a toaster makes it just look like a box with a veil or a dress. The vacuum cleaner was the best one to wear wedding attire.
If you look at the toaster watching the wedding it's obvious that she is jealous of being passed over and will spent the reception afterwards telling her friends how handsome the groom was, and never mentioning the bride though they are considered best friends. The toaster thinks she is hiding her disdain and bitterness by not speaking of her friend, but this is not so, the blender has known the toaster since kindergarten and knows her almost better than the she knows herself. The toaster will drink too much and make an embarrassing toast during dinner that will further drive a spike in the friendship between the vacuum and the toaster that will never heal. The blender will take the vacuums side and the toaster will slowly realize she is alone and has squandered her life on bitterness and regret. She will end her life by jumping into the bathtub. It will be weeks until the superintendent of her slummy building finds her rusting at the bottom of a pool of crumb filled water.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Lunchroom Larfs- September 24, 2013
This is a picture of my two daughters doing a puzzle together. The missing piece is laughing because he knows what happens next. A chain reaction of anger. My five-year-old first blames the two-year-old for removing the piece, which then sets off a wailing from the two-year-old, which then sets me stomping through the house shouting "What is going on!" Soon the whole house is upset and the bastard little puzzle piece hides around the corner laughing with schadenfreude delight.
On an altogether other note, the picture in the background is my crappy rendition of our good friend and talented artist Tania Boterman's art, of which we love and have many pieces hanging on our house.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Lunchroom Larfs- September 23, 2013
Both my daughter and the kids in her class didn't get this one. The way I saw it was that the zebra among the tigers has integrated itself and convinced the tigers that he was one of them based solely on the fact that they both have stripes. The next thing that would happen in this tale would be the ultimate test for the imposter as he must choose to either save his friend and give himself away risking his own life or to save himself by brutally killing and eating his zebra brother, essentially turning to a life of cannibalism that he would have to live with for eternity.
Then again, I am colorblind so maybe the two animals don't look all that similar anyway.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Lunchroom Larfs- September 20, 2013
There was great debate in the schoolyard as to if the man was blowing his nose, or wiping his mouth. Also, notice the man is totally dressed inappropriately for the climate there.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Lunchroom Larfs- September 19, 2013
My eldest daughter and I love Halloween. So she and I have decided that this is how we will decorate our house this year.
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