Lunchroom Larfs- September 6, 2013

We went a good three days before losing the lunchbox. Yesterday when I picked my daughter up at school the lunchbox was nowhere to be found. We looked in her room, the lost and found and tried to check the lunchroom, but like the gulage I assumed it to be, it was locked up tight. My daughter was quite upset over this because the lunchbox was new "AND IT HAD PEACE SIGNS AND HEARTS ON IT. MY FAVORITE".

Today with head hung low and her ham sandwich in a liquor store bag she went to school. I tried to cheer her up with this happy thought of her lunchbox.

Like how the dog you had as a kid went to the "farm".

Because I am a genius, and put my phone number in the box, I got a call from someone saying they had the lunchbox, so I said, "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter's lunchbox go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you"

Or he just said that he left it by the main entrance of the school. I can't really remember to be honest.

I went to school today and there was the lunchbox, with all it's innards strewn around it like a pack of hyenas got at it and tore it apart.